Hi, my name is Christe and it's been about 4 years since my last blog...
Just a couple of words that I think may define my current state. All is well - my marriage, my children, my life...why do these words pop into my brain?
I woke up this beautiful summer morning, thinking about "that blog I used to do." Popped over to the computer, read many of the entries. Sara was in elementary school (now a teenager, about to enter her last year of middle school), and Allie was a toddler (soon to be in second grade). I had a positive, shiny outlook despite being a pessimist-at-heart. ;) What has changed? Why do I feel different?
If you ask me if I am happy - I will say yes. Happy, but restless. Happy, but not content. It doesn't even make sense to me, so I don't expect it to make sense to you.
A lot has happened in four years - some great, some not so great. I suspect that would be the same for everyone else! Financially, we are much more stable and successful. I read the entries where I discussed saving money, being a responsible steward, and it all felt really wholesome. We don't have to watch our financial P's and Q's so much anymore - I've been showered with nice clothes, shoes, expensive handbags, trips, stuff, stuff, and more stuff. We're not millionaires, but we're living the American Dream - no credit card debt, able to save more, buy more, the perfect picture of middle class. It's what I always wanted. Isn't it?
Something is amiss, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Yet. So here's what I hope to do...continue blogging. I'm not sure what my purpose is, and it's not even important if anyone reads it. This will be for me - my journey, my story. I don't know where it will take me, but I do know this: unrest and discontent will not be the words that define my life or my family's.
Today is different. I am speaking the words that I've been hiding in my heart. Acknowledging them is the start of a new page in a new chapter.
Wish me luck.
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